THE THING I ALWAYS CARRY

Written By Jaqwan Evbuomwan

A few weeks ago, I hopped on a routine Monday morning Zoom for work. The icebreaker question was simple:
“Name something you always have with you, no matter what.”

I sat with that for a moment.
My first thought? My phone.
But I hesitated to say it out loud.

You see, I’ve already disowned the version of myself who “couldn’t live without her phone.” As a parent, I even initiated phone breaks with my kids, hoping to model digital boundaries.
I failed at that, by the way—but that’s a story for another blog.

Still, when my turn came, I said it:
“My phone.”

I looked around the Zoom squares, hoping someone else would say it first.
I even considered lying—maybe something poetic like “my Bible” or “a smile.”
But I kept circling back to the truth.
“My phone,” I said, half-proud, half-cringing.

But not for the reason you might think.

My Sacred Vault

I always need my phone because of my Notes app.
Since middle school, I’ve kept some kind of journal—a notebook, a diary, the back of a church bulletin—anywhere to record my thoughts, prayers, poems, or fears.

Now, my Notes app holds it all.

My Notes app has become a sacred vault—a place where I can be both brave and broken.
It’s where God talks to me, and where I talk back.
It’s not fancy. It’s not curated.
But it’s real.
And sometimes, real is the most powerful thing we can offer.

I recently read that the average person has around 200–300 notes stored on their phone.
I checked mine.
I have over 6,000.

Why "Dr. Nes’ Notes" Exists

At first, I thought these notes were just for me.
Maybe for my kids one day.
Or for the pulpit, if the timing ever felt right.

But something shifted.
I felt a nudge—maybe these notes aren’t just mine to keep.

What You’ll Find Here

This blog is my way of letting some of those 6,000+ notes breathe.

Inside, you’ll find:

  • God-given revelations that stirred my soul

  • Quiet fears I’ve never said out loud

  • Unfinished spoken word pieces

  • Sermon starters

  • Prayers whispered in dark seasons

  • Notes for my children to read once I’m gone

  • Glimpses of my faith, my fire, and my frailty

It’s vulnerable.
It’s raw.
It’s real.
And honestly—it’s a little terrifying.
But I’m buckled in and ready to go.

Welcome to Dr. Nes’ Notes.

Jaqwan Evbuomwan